Resolve
by Explosive
Summary: Izzy confronts the past, but he needs Sora's help


This is my second fanfic, and it's a little more serious than the first, I think, but what does that matter? I hope you think it's good. As a disclaimer I think I have to say that I don't own Digimon. I wonder who does? It would be funny if he/she actually wrote something here and said "I own Digimon!" Like anyone would believe it. Anyway...  
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The chilly autumn breeze blew harder as Sora zipped her jacket up a little higher. She looked over at Izzy who had just done the same. It was a three mile hike to their destination; the bus wouldn't take them any farther. It was so much more quiet away from the city, and hearing the leaves blow, watching birds flying overhead, and noticing how much cleaner the air was made Sora glad she could get away for a day...if it was only for a different occasion. Izzy had asked her to come with him, and she gladly accepted. It meant a lot to her, but she wondered why she chose him.  
  
There really wasn't any traffic on this road - they hadn't seen a car since they got off the bus - so they just walked down the middle of the road. Sora looked over at Izzy who hadn't spoken much since they left home. It was one of the only times she had seen him without his laptop. It was like it was part of him and without it he didn't know how to communicate with anyone. Sora knew this wasn't true, but without it he seemed more vulnerable, naked. "Duh...", Sora thought to herself. "It's just a computer."  
  
She remembered last Saturday when Izzy, Tai and Mimi watched her soccer team play its last game of the season. He seemed to be his usual quiet and passive but contented self. It was next Wednesday when he came up to her after school and asked her in a solemn manner if she would come with him on Saturday. He told her he'd pay for the tickets and that all she had to do was come with him. She knew what it was for and accepted. Then, at 8'o clock sharp, he came to her door this morning. They talked and joked the whole way to the bus station, and it almost could have been a fun day out. Once they got on the bus though, Izzy sat quiet and stared out the window. Two hours later they got off in a small town they had never even heard of somewhere beyond the suburbs. They followed the streets and found the road leading into the endless countryside of fields and open space.   
  
"Oh Izzy, it's so nice to be in the country." Sora remarked.  
  
"I'd prefer a nicer day that today.", he replied. He didn't say anything else. After many attempts, Sora decided that Izzy obviously wasn't in the mood for conversation. Also it was obvious to anyone who slightly knew him that he wasn't an "outdoor person".   
  
The wind was blowing in their direction too, making each step a little harder. It was perhaps a mile down the road that they saw a group of trees, and maybe a half-mile farther down that they saw a building hidden within them.   
  
"Hey Izzy, is this it?" Sora asked.  
  
"I think so, this is the only building here.", he replied. Sora almost expected him to whip out his laptop and check their coordinates, but Izzy hadn't brought it, and this wasn't the Digiworld. They walked silently to the trees and stopped under their branches.  
  
"You wanna go inside for a minute Izzy?", asked Sora. "It's cold out here." She wished she'd broght warmer clothes.  
  
Izzy agreed, and they walked to the church doors. They climbed the steps and reached the door. Sora gave it a tug, but it wouldn't budge.  
  
"Hey, what gives?" she exclaimed.  
  
"Let me try", Izzy said, cracking his knuckles. It was no use though, they were locked from the inside. He sat down on the steps, thinking of what to do next.  
  
"Well...", Sora nervously offered, "we could just go and look. Are you ready?"  
  
"I need another minute." he said quite blankly.  
  
He stared across the empty fields that had been harvested weeks ago. It wouldn't be long before they could see snow, but it would probably come here a lot faster than it would to the city. Sora thought Izzy could probably tell her why, but it would be stupid to ask him now. She sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulder. It had been almost four months since they all returned from the Digiworld, and they all had settled back down at home and school. Izzy told her that everything was going just fine with his family, better than ever actually. Of course things were different now that he knew the truth, but they were better, right? Things were better, but they weren't finished. This was part of the process of doing just that. A minute later he spoke up.  
  
"Ok, I think I'm ready."  
  
"You sure? Take your time." Sora replied.  
  
"No, I'm ready." Izzy insisted.  
  
They got up and walked down the steps. The church had been closed for a few years, and no one was bothering to make sure it didn't fall apart. Shutters had fallen off and windows were broken. Small plants were sprouting up in the gravel driveway, and the yard was much worse. They trudged though the knee-high grass and weeds around the church until they were on the other side. Sure enough, the cemetary was right there where Izzy's parents said it would be. They walked to the entrance stopped. Sora turned to Izzy who was reading a crumpled piece of paper he had pulled from his pocket. She couldn't read what it said but she did see a crudely drawn diagram on it. Izzy stuffed it back in his pocket.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked him. She wondered why she asked him that, for she didn't want to discourange him after going this far.  
  
"I don't know." he told her. Sora thought for a minute. She knew this was something Izzy had to do, but how could she help him? She looked at him and smiled, and offered her hand. Izzy hesitated but took it, and then managed a small smile back.   
  
"You can do this, you know." She assured him. "You can hold my hand as long as you want, I'll be here for you."  
  
"Thanks Sora. I think I'm ready now." Izzy took a deep breath and they began walking into the graveyard. The tombstones were arranged in neat little rows, and the ones they were looking for were somewhere near the back. They walked together past small headstones and large monument-like markers for those few who could affoad them. There were flowers and wreaths and baskets on some, but Izzy and Sora brought no such gifts. Soon they reached the other side of the cemetery, and Izzy stopped.  
  
"Sora, is it ok if I do the rest of this myself?" Izzy knew this was the right row.  
  
"Of course it is. Just remember I'll be right here, okay?" Sora gave his hand a little squeeze and released it.  
  
Izzy slowly walked away. Sora could picture him mentally counting off the markers on the ground in his head. She knew he could have come here anytime with his "new" parents (as she thought of them) but he had never felt ready to do that. They didn't want to pressure him, so they told him "Whenever you're ready." Did he not want them along? Maybe it was better to go without them, Sora thought. They told him where the cemetary was and where they were buried, maybe they knew he would want to do this himself.  
  
He stopped, looking down at two modestly-sized headstones next to each other. He stood motionless for a while, then walked to them and knelt down. Sora watched him from a distance as he ran his fingers along the marble etchings in them. He had a single photograph of his family together, taken shortly after he was born in his pocket, close to his heart. His hand was on it now.  
  
Sora closed her eyes and prayed to herself, "God, thank you for Izzy and his friendship. I don't know why you took his parents from him when he was so young, but help him to accept his loss and be thankful for the new parents you gave him. Give him strength and give me wisdom to help him though this. Amen."  
  
When she opened her eyes, Izzy was taking something else out of his pocket. It wasn't the piece of paper she saw before, but something smaller that his hand concealed. He placed it on one of the stones and bowed his head. The chilly autumn breeze blew though the trees, and Sora felt cold. The thought occured to her, what if she lost her family? Would she have been so lucky to have relatives as kind and loving as Izzy's? She didn't think so. She missed her mom and remembered how they had argued the day before. It was so silly but it was becomng more common. What if she never got to apologize to her? What if she could never hug her parents again? She shivered and put her hands on her shoulders. She saw Izzy get up and slowly walk away from his parents' graves.  
  
"Hey..." was all she could think to say. That would have been a good time for some wisdom God, she thought.  
  
"Hey," Izzy replied. "Are you ready to go back to town?" The bus would be back at 3'o clock. They had time and there was a place they could wait indoors.  
  
"Ok." Sora answered. She really wanted to give Izzy her hand again but he was already two steps ahead of her. She pulled her hands back into their sleeves and stuffed them into her pockets. Izzy hadn't told her what it was he put on their grave, and she wondered if it would always be a secret. Sora wished she knew how he was feeling, she felt so useless. They left the graveyard, walked around the abandoned church and sat back down on the steps. Izzy was quiet, but Sora sensed something was wrong. "Are you okay Izzy?" she asked.  
  
Sora could now see why Izzy had been walking ahead of her, because he was trying to hold back tears. He put his head in his hands and began to cry. She put her arm around him but he collapsed into her lap. She held him close tightly knowing that right now there was little else she could do. They spent a lot of time together in the Digiworld but she never knew him to be like this. It seemed strangely natural though, just holding him and stroking his hair and being there for him. She realized that she always saw through to his pain and had wanted to comfort him for so long, but never had the chance to. It was like a release to finally do so, but she didn't feel any better. After a minute Izzy stopped crying and sat back up.  
  
"Oh...(sniff)...sorry Sora, I didn't mean to...I mean..." Izzy searched for the right word, but it didn't seem to be coming to him.  
  
"No Izzy, it's ok. I'm here for you, remember?" Sora said with a smile. She knew he didn't really mean to apologize for it, but that it was just a reaction, something he felt like he had to say. She wanted to tell him that she understood, but she wondered deep down if she really did. Both of her parents were alive, could she undestand? Maybe not, but she could still be his friend. "How do you feel?" she asked him.  
  
"A little better I think."   
  
Maybe he was, maybe he was just saying that. It's hard to answer questions like that at times like this, thought Sora.  
  
"Thanks for coming with me. I couldn't have done it without you." Izzy said. He stared out across the field, rocking back and forth, hugging his knees.  
  
"Sure Izzy. Thanks for asking me." Sora saw that his face was covered with tears. She wiped his face with her sleeve, drying his eyes. She dabbed at his cheeks, which actually brought a smile to his face. It must have tickled, because he laughed. He slid away from her, but she moved closer to him, still wiping his face.  
  
"What're you doing?" he shouted. "Don't...quit it!" He laughed as he got up and ran away from her. Sora hopped to her feet and dashed after him. He dashed across the lawn and into a grove of trees. Sora chased him out and they ran to the road.   
  
"Are you ready to go back?" Izzy asked Sora, out of breath from their short game of tag.  
  
"Yeah, let's go before we freeze!" Sora replied. The chilly autumn breeze blew though the trees. The two friends walked briskly with the wind at their backs. Izzy still had questions about his real parents, but he knew that with the love of his mom and dad, and the support of his friends, he could get though this. Now, the hardest part was over.   
  
Sora thought about her prayer, wondering why God didn't just put the words in her mouth like she asked him to. Maybe, she thought, wisdom isn't just being able to speak wisely, but also knowing what to do at the right time. Whoa, maybe that's pretty special! She stopped herself short of congratulating herself on it though, after all it didn't come from her. She thought about Izzy, and how she was lucky to have a friend that would trust her enough to ask her to do the hard things. They didn't talk much on the way back to town, but she did catch Izzy looking at her once. They smiled and knew what it meant. 


End file.
